My father is, this very moment, on the phone to his insurance company complaining about an incorrect sentence formation on their latest policy agreement.

I bloody love you Daddy.

<3

The path of apathy is often the cruelest

Am I a bigot for believing whole-heartedly that it's wrong to abuse children?

No.

Then what's the fucking difference? Abused children; abused animals. Both feel pain. Both suffer needlessly. There are no excuses. My dog Leo would probably taste good but, you know, I don't think I'll eat him today, thanks. Again, what's the difference? If you eat meat or even drink milk from a major UK supermarket; you are allowing cruelty to animals. Where does your food come from?

Click here and ask yourself: does your meat come from factory farms?

'Angels lie to keep control'

Wednesday night was pretty wicked, innit bruv. Brrrrap!*And I have found another sense-of-humour soulmate in the form of a Sophie. She's bloody spiffing, she is. Top hole! What what what!

Chatting and coffee with Matt today; lovely as always. He's always made me feel so relaxed. I have the best friends ever. Fact.

Sooooo, football season has started. OH JOY OF JOYS. This confirms me as a non-pubgoer for the next few weeks at least.

I have nothing of interest to say. But lots of look forward to. :)

*don't ever type that word again, Joanna. Please.

'Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. '

These past few days I have mostly been...

+ Spending time with lovely family who I don't see enough

+ Smoking too many cigarettes (what the fuck is new?)

+ As Dad calls it: Hound perambulation (there is something to be said for Daddy reading the dictionary in his spare time, I suppose)

+ Catching up with old friends (so lovely to see Sharon yesterday!)

+ Trying to figure out the actions of my friends' complicated boy-crushes for them. To no avail. Naturally.

+ Drinking Vodka for the first time in about five years! (And bloody good it was too! Though I must admit the choice of Cherry-aid as an accompaniment was somewhat dubious...)

+ Walking more than the Worldwide Walking Champions. And they walk a lot, I can tell you.

+ Looking forward to Shelli's birthday 'mash-up' ('it's a mash-up! A pie and mash-up!') tonight and to Tom's party on Saturday! Yay!

+ and the usual tiresome rigmarole of job-hunting.

'Most Gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess; and you don't find out till too late that he's been playing with two queens all along' - Terry Pratchett

Sleep shall burn in hell for being the thief of time!

As my Father mumbles to himself downstairs, shuffling around turning off each plug socket in his neurotic bed-time ritual, I sit here wishing there were enough hours in the day, enough mental juice and concentration, to write down every character, storyline, phrase that runs through my mind.

Never tasted dreadful water after sky had turned to blue.

Anatomy of your enemy

10 easy steps to create an enemy and start a war:

Listen closely because we will all see this weapon used in our lives.

It can be used on a society of the most ignorant to the most highly educated.

We need to see these tactics as a weapon against humanity and not as truth.

First step: Create the enemy. Sometimes this will be done for you.

Second step: Be sure the enemy that you have chosen is nothing like you.

Find obvious differences like race, language, religion, dietary habits, fashion.

Emphasize that their soldiers are not doing a job;

they are heartless murderers who enjoy killing.

Third step: Once these differences are established, continue to reinforce them

with all disseminated information.

Fourth step: Have the media broadcast only the ruling party's information -

this can be done through state run media.

Remember, in times of conflict all for-profit media repeats the ruling party's information.

Therefore all for-profit media is state-run.

Fifth step: show this enemy in actions that seem strange, militant, or different.

Always portray the enemy as non-human, evil, a killing machine.

Sixth step: Eliminate opposition to the ruling party.

Create an 'Us versus Them' mentality. Leave no room for opinions in between.

One that does not support all actions of the ruling party should be considered a traitor.

Seventh step: Use nationalistic and/or religious symbols and rhetoric to define all actions.

This can be achieved with slogans such as 'freedom loving people versus those who hate freedom.'

This can also be achieved with the use of flags.

Eighth step: Align all actions with the dominant deity.

It is very effective to use terms like, 'It is god's will' or 'god bless our nation.'

Ninth step: Design propaganda to show that your soldiers

have feelings, hopes, families, and loved ones.

Make it clear that your soldiers are doing a duty; they do not want or like to kill.

Tenth step: Create an atmosphere of fear and instability,

then offer the ruling party as the only solutions to comfort the public's fears.

Remembering the fear of the unknown is always the strongest fear.

We are not countries. We are not nations. We are not religions.

We are not gods. We are not weapons. We are not ammunition. We are not killers.

We will not be tools.

I will not die

I will not kill

I will not be your slave

I will not fight your battle

I will not die on your battlefield

I will not fight for your wealth

I am not a fighter

I am a human being.

'She's a magical, mystical womaaannnn!'

I have just woken up from a dream in which I was helping a God fight a Giant. Pretty fucking cool I must say. It was like a duel in the middle of a battle, everyone stopped and watched us. I was rubbish, haha! He kept throwing this big boulder at me. My role was that of the Shaman. Of course. As always.

Well, this week has consisted of random drinks out with old friends, hair dying, keeping on Daddy's good side (oh yes!), nuptials, endless conversation and laughter, epic falls (and I mean EPIC! I have the scars to prove it!) , spending way too much money on public transport, and meeting of new friends! A bloody good week I'd say, old chaps! What what!

I don't have much of interest to say. Except I almost punched someone at the wedding during the official picture time because he tried taking a photo of my cleavage. He behaved as though I'd be fine with it, as if I should be flattered. Urgh. Fuck off.

I have my interview today. If I don't get the job I'll be annoyed because I could be visiting my peeps in Wolverhampton right now! Fare ye well and a merry path before you all this day!

The battle of the sexes

Men are taught to never be weak,

and women are taught to always be weak.

The Ballad of me and my friends

Yesterday was Shelli's first proper gig with Old School Rules. It was in Kingston (London, not Jamaica, stoopid!) and we (Tom, Ryan, Charli, and me) all told her it was just too far to travel and that we couldn't afford it. I will never forget the look on her face when I stood in front of her in the pub garden and said 'surprise!', haha! I would walk over coals (relatively hot ones, too!) to see that happiness and surprise again! There's nothing quite like making your best friends smile and bounce with joy. And I think she cried a little bit. :P

Last night consisted of beer, familiar faces, new faces, punk rock, noisy dogs, and lots of lovely jubbley laughter.

That's my wifey! And you can't have her!

Shelli did a wicked job, as did the whole of Old School Rules. She's an awesome front-woman - the perfect fusion of charm, charisma, and SPUNK! Yeah baby! It's also been fantastic to spend time with Tom again lately, after all these years, because he's pretty damn cool.

So all in all, the past forty eight hours has been bloody smashing.

'Well if you're all about the destination,

then take a fucking flight!

We're going nowhere slowly but we're seeing all the sights.

And we're definitely going to hell

but we'll have all the best stories to tell...'

'And I know I'm not the one who is habitually optimistic...'

...but I'm the one who's got the microphone here, so just remember this:

Yeah, life's about love, last minutes, and lost evenings

about fire in our bellies and about furtive little feelings

and the aching amplitudes that set our needles all aflickering:

they help us with remembering that the only thing that's left to do is live!

After all the loving and losing, after all the heroes and the pioneers

the only things that's left to do is get another round in at the bar'

Yesterday I saw Faye for the first time in Idon'tknowhowmany years. She gives off such joyful, creative energies. Simply lovely company. And her gorgeous little girl Evie has the most wonderful temperament. Ah, that was a nice day. Shame I didn't get there earlier :P

I have an interview on Friday. Go me!

That is all.