Over the course of Autumns

Joanna is on somewhat of a high at the moment. She is enjoying this. It does, however, mean that she can no longer speak in the 'first person'. She is fine with this. She is now wondering if this entire entry is going to be as boring at this first sentence.

Hmm, we'll see...

So, over the past couple of weeks I've been concentrating (at work), trying to behave myself (at work), making mistakes with money (at work...oopsie!), celebrating Rosh Hashana with some Jewish buddies of mine (it was a bit like a Pagan ceremony what with the prayer and the eating of certain things at certain times, etc. Plus, apples dipped in honey = win), giving up her spare room to Wolverhampton wanderers, dancing and crying to Cavalcade (oh boys...you have brought the local music scene to life <3), making posters for musical eventings, decorating cakes for anniversaries, watching brass bands in smarmy little churches - 'niiiiice bit of Grieg!' ;), and re-writing Shakespeare choruses for filthy friends! Oh, and laughing ridiculously with the most awesome people in the world.

I only now, at my riiiipe old age, have the confidence (or the apathy) to just be creative and put my stuff out there. I partly have Sarah to thank for all her help with the flower arrangements I did for people when I lived in the Land of Wolves. Autumn comes alive this week, and it brings with it (as always) a part of life I connect with strongly. The Gods are most alive for me during the Winter and the Summer months, but over the course of Autumns things are more...(for want of a better noun - as always when speaking of such things) spirit based. However, I would like to get one thing straight - I am not a big hippie. Nor am I a Wiccan*. I connect to the old ways. That is perhaps the best way to describe things. As someone I knew long ago once said - 'Pagan, not pussy'.

Stop rambling and finish prettifying that cake, you slag.

Okay! Jeeeesus...! Wait, people should see this first - Clickedy And this - click.

The bards descend the waves of ancient seas

and poets' breath to decorate our trees

*grrrrrr

A solitary dancer...

'...driven by the irony that only being shackled to the road could ever I be free...'

Well my only full weekend off this month has been pretty much pooed on.

Now what I need is a solution. No point in dwelling on it, however perturbed I may be.

Time for a plan. Though all I want is to pack myself off to somewhere new already. And this is not me running away - this is my constant inner itch to do something new every single day, to drink in the world, to feel free...

'Ever since my childhood I've been scared, I've been afraid

of being trapped by circumstance, of staying in one place

and so I always keep a small bag full of clothes carefully stored
somewhere secret, somewhere safe, somewhere close to the door. '

'I have swam the lake of flames, walked forbidden tracks'

Just thought you all should know that:

...the changing rooms in Sainsbury's smell of wee :(

...being a builder/road workman/Tesco delivery man does not give you the earthly right to shout lude comments at anything with boobies. You pricks.

...giant, furry, Dr. Marten-wearing arachnids exist and they are everywhere. BEWARE.

...I started smoking when I was a teenager because I wanted to sing like Courtney Love. Thanks Ma'anit for reminding me of this wonderful weird little piece of my past. Though nobody seems to be able to remind me of why exactly I wanted to sing like Courtney Love in the first place. And I cannot fathom it to this day.

...I already have that divine thrust (lol) of wanderlust again. Where should I randomly move to once I've been in this job for a while? And why can I not stay in one place for more than a few months?

So my buddy, my pal James is back from the Greasey-land and this makes Joanna a happy girl. When I was in my early twenties I figured I'd already made all my best friends for life but I was wrong - over the past two years Sarah, Jo, and James have become (for fear of sounding like an Enid Blyton character) firm friends. Never underestimate the power of evolving and personal progression. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life who I click with on levels I never even thought possible.

I could go on but I don't want to gush. Err, that sounds gross.

My job starts on Monday. It's all a bit exciting. I've missed looking after people, it's one of the reasons I'm here and I thrive on it. I will have to stay organised if I want to fit everything I do now (and more because money will permit this) around work. I need a P.A. ...any takers?

Hmm, this entry has included lots of question marks. You don't need a psychology degree to work that one out!

This day in Joanna's life is dedicated to Mr. Stewart Copeland for being the main reason I blew all my inheritance money on a drum kit when I was fifteen. And for getting my feet (and legs, and hands) tapping stupidly and involuntarily to this very day.

'Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty'

Sometimes people don't like my honesty. That is fine.

I will remain always true to my path and to what I feel is right.

Though it is a shame. We had a blast.

Oh, Mr. Keats...

'Therefore, 'tis with full happiness that I
Will trace the story of Endymion.
The very music of the name has gone
Into my being, and each pleasant scene
Is growing fresh before me as the green
Of our own valleys: so I will begin
Now while I cannot hear the city's din;
Now while the early budders are just new,
And run in mazes of the youngest hue
About old forests; while the willow trails
Its delicate amber; and the dairy pails
Bring home increase of milk...'

Italics = full-on shudder moments.

What would be my life without such utterly delicious words?

'In the dark we're the same, in the concept of time we're like a grain in the sand'

The highlight of my Wednesday night was seeing an old man with a t-shirt that had the big MacDonalds 'M' on it, and the words 'McShit' written over the top. Oh, and Ma'anit pretending to be a ghost resulting in my screaming loudly in the beer garden. *embarrassed*

Yesterday I went to Rochester with my awesome 'brother' Lee and we met Jason and Graham there. I did something I don't usually do but you know what? I'm just having fun and rolling with life - why the bloody hell not? And no, I didn't sleep with anyone before you assume that, you naughty readers you!


Time to get moving! Toodley pip!

Sanctuary

My land is bare of chattering folk;
The clouds are low along the ridges,
And sweet's the air with curly smoke
From all my burning bridges.
by Dorothy Parker

My dreams remain the same

Over the past week of Joanna's life, she has been...

...to Gravesend and tried on every single bridesmaid dress in the shop. Then ended up choosing the most expensive one without realising it...typical! Sorry Becca. Then we spent all day drinking wine and Celtic Warriors (phwoar!). Then Natalie and I went to the Barge. It's all a bit of a blur frankly. But I know I enjoyed myself! I provided the quote of that night by walking up to a group of Ma'anit's friends and trying desperately to look sober. Which seemed to be working until I said 'I'm fiiiine! I'm not that drunk...*hiccup*' Bastard diaphragm!

 ...disinfecting all the musical instruments in her house.

Mum: Why are you disinfecting your tin-whistle?
Joanna: Uh....because James kinda...put it up his nose.

...looking after my nephew and nephette, Tom and Abbie-ghoul! Tom got attacked by an evil swing in the park, and Abbie and I painted our faces like lunatics. A fantastic day indeed. :)

...to The Nightmare Theatre. Lots of laughter, chatting, Newcastle Brown (hell yeah!), new friends, long-lost friends. T'was the fun indeed. Cavalcade played - their sound is too big, too vast for Medway. They need a stage out in space so the whole world can look up at them. Their sound is unique. Dark, sometimes almost bleak, but with gorgeous ribbons of colour flowing and twisting through the sound. Lovely lovely.

...having tomato-ketchup and sock fights. Yeah, don't ask.

...wondering about how to end a blog post in an interesting way.

 'And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else.' - Dylan Moran

'Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me!' (I might break you)

Joanna has well and truly lived up to her nickname of Calamity today. For those of you who are interested (and if you're not, then why, pray tell, are you still reading this? I won't have your sort round here!), I gained said nickname about 7 years ago when I first visited Becca's parent's house. I'd only been there for about ten minutes and I broke this family heirloom vase thingimajig. Then the next time I visted, I broke a plate. This was also around the time that I broke my boyfriend-at-the-time's prized glass stein from Germany. It was massive and he loved it to bits. And I dropped it to bits. Sorry! When Becca and Obee had their flatwarming party, they put yellow and black hazard tape over their furniture because they knew I was coming. Cheers guys. Hilarious. ;-)

So that's the story. And I've been a walking disaster ever since. So your lesson of the day is: DO NOT TRUST JOANNA WITH ANYTHING DELICATE OR PRECIOUS TO YOU. IT WILL BE BROKEN! I don't seem to have broken anyone's baby yet though. So that's alright. Though the odds are pretty high - quite a few of my friends have kids. I'll keep you posted...