Well, in between the self-destructive attitude towards food, a general unintentional misleading of people who seem to be waiting at some sort of counter outside my proverbial house for me to hand them pieces of myself, and a lacklustre attitude towards work which I can't afford to have, I have discovered that I do, in fact, still love Jon. Now I know what you're saying: "you're worried about a man when you have all the above problems which clearly need dealing with first?!" and I hear ya. Name me dreamer if you fancy. Dub me the incurable romantic. But for the first time in my lucky, lucky life my heart is wide open. That's right. The bridges are down, the mote is dry and the guards are outside welcoming guests with tea and crackers.
I find it very difficult to summarise large chunks of detailed information so I'm afraid anyone who's somehow tumbled into this young, fresh slap-me-on-the-ass-I'm-ready-for-action new diary is just going to have to be patient with me or be some sort of super detective. Although if you've made it this far already and are still reading I conclude that you are of seriously questionable nature to begin with. In which case we'll get on just fine.
Today is the last day of 2007. The time is five to ten to the pm and I have absolutely no intention of celebrating. Not even in the smallest possible way. Call me a grumpy old cynic if you like but I cannot get into a party mood just because - it's the night of the year when everybody MUST enjoy themselves, it's a new year for fuck's sake! Party pooper! - Fuck. Off. I'll enjoy myself when I feel like enjoying myself, thank ye merry crutch. There's something so forced about the whole affair which instantly puts me rrrright awf.
So I say bye bye to 2007 as my box of Lindor chocolates waves goodbye to its last occupant. I was going to say 'last ever occupant' but we never know who or what will live in it once it gets to the tip, do we? See, it's always wise to keep your options open. Remember that one.
I will probably feel a bit more relaxed once I start working one day a week for Jo and Ally. I won't worry about money so much and it'll give me something to get up early for. 'You want to get up early?!' Yes i do. Anyone would think I have enough reasons to live but it seems my heart is never satisfied and wants it all just like Mr. Mercury in his little song. Insatiable. I love that word. Say it with me: insaaaatiable. I remember first learning that word, my mother was reading to me and the girl in the book had 'an insatiable curiosity'. It could be from Alice in Wonderland but I'm likely mistaken. Weren't childrens' books wonderful? Good old Enid Blyton: she was one of my favourites. She did somewhat set me up for failure though with regards to my expectations of school. I awaited professors, blotting paper and lacross but instead I got teachers, chewing gum stuck under the desk (you know the gum that wasn't put there THAT long ago and it tacks itself to your school tights everytime you cross your legs? - Devil-workery, I'm sure of it.) and badly-organised games of rounders on a muddy field. I always wanted to go to boarding school. To escape and grow on my own. I still have that pull inside me to just steal away from the tribe when part of me feels a need to develop and blossom.
On that psychological note, off I go-eth.
