'With your heart in the future and your head in the past, there's nothing inbetween that's going to last.'

I'm in a period of transition. I am all mentally ready to move and I'm excited about moving but I'm also looking back to the people, places and memories I shall be leaving behind. I'm just sort of existing in the middle of two periods of time, hanging in the air. Hence the freakishly apt title.

I really wish I had enough money to do stuff with people before I leave but I think I might still have a meet-up just to get everyone together and say my goodbyes. Goodbye is such a strange word: it's so final. Too final...maybe I won't actually use that word.

'What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? - it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.' - Jack Kerouac 'On the Road'

Dear universe,

Please send me back in time so I can go to a Rolling Stones gig when they were young. Yes, they were young once upon a time.

Thanks in advance,
Joanna
xx

'it's just that demon life has got you in its sway'

I am flabbergasted that on my etymological journeyings I have not yet found the word 'ego' pertaining to the word we now know as 'man'.

I'm sorry to sound so ridiculously feminist but can a woman not make opposite-sex-oriented ponderings? Yes, she can. And here I am. Doing just that.

When a woman says she's not interested - she's not. She's just not. Perhaps this doesn't fit into your plan of self-righteous ego-massaging, wishful thinking and general i'mamanandweruletheworldsoi'llgetwhatiwantevenifitdoesn'twantme misinterpretation on the importance of your own sex. But we really mean that we're. not. interested.

Okay perhaps that last paragraph contained more judgement than ponderments and I'm usually pro-man but I blame history - yes, you! History! I also blame Christianity. And I'm not anti-Christian. I just blame it. For so many reasons I can't even bring myself to write about: I'd end up chewing the fucking keyboard.

On a completely unrelated note: I'm not swearing half as much as I usually do. Perhaps all this time spent around children is doing me good in more ways than one. My nephews and nephette (thanks Shelley's ex-boyfriend) keep me breathing.

I might dye my hair a normal colour next. We'll see.

I should probably eat something. Toodles poodles.

Echoes from the past

While going through my stuff to pack I've found a tape of my sister Caroline at age 15 playing the piano and me aged 7 playing the violin I'd just got. I wanted to make the tape for my eldest sister, Hazel who was away at university at the time. I'm talking/making noises/joking/laughing maniacally inbetween each song. My mother finds that now is the right time to tell me she thought about and was advised by teachers to take me to a child psychologist! Haha! She said she didn't want me 'mucked about with', so she didn't.

I find this all very amusing and it also explains a lot.

EDIT: And now I've started reading her poetry by Ted Hughes. Seven years old! I was destined to be strange; DESTINED, I tell thee!

'A life less ordinary'

Please

The colour of dreams

From a diary entry I made 7th June 2007:

'Perhaps I wasn't born in the wrong time.
Perhaps this is exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Perhaps all I needed was to discover colour in all areas.'

We are not islands

You can live, and be happy, inside your own mind only for a short time.

Fantasies become dreams: and leashed dreams are like a box filled with colour, never opened.

We are not islands.

When you release your heart to flight new opportunities seem born in every star; hopes sparkle and leaves glimmer and laugh with the sun; neon flickers on a rippling river running through a city of magic.

Ecstacy is found on another plane of existence: a plane that, when you arrive there, feels more real and more tangible than any basic human consciousness. It breathes with you.

We are not islands.

'I want so much more than they've got planned'

It's a good feeling when someone tells you that you've 'opened their eyes' to life and how to live it, just by doing what comes naturally to me.

'With your heart in the future and your head in the past: there's nothing in between that's going to last.'

Thank you Beauty and the Beast for the subject of this post. Thank you London for being stunning at night. Thank you Gods for being with me. Thank you music and thank you words...for releasing my heart and letting it fly.


I'm dreaming, seeing, traveling, breathing. I'm living.

'I can feel you getting closer'

I still believe in paradise

'For mine is a generation that circles the globe in search of something we haven't tried before: so never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite, and never outstay your welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience, and if it hurts - you know what? - it's probably worth it.

You hope and you dream, but you never believe that something is going to happen for you. Not like it does in the movies. And when it actually does you expect it to feel different: more visceral, more real.

I was waiting for it to hit me.

I still believe in paradise but now at least I know it's not some place you can look for, 'cause it's not where you go, it's how you feel for a moment in your life...

...and if you find that moment it lasts forever.

It lasts forever.'

Be

'Read more, learn more: change the Globe.'

The West - observing atrocity, drowning in apathy

If life is a radio

TURN UP TO TEN!

Pro-ana is the devil

Srsly.

Anyone who has a desire for anorexia is ignorant, lost and totally, totally stupid.

It is a disease.
It is barbed chains and muffled screams.
It is...well, I'm not in the mood to write poetry about it today.

Just...don't even go there.
Don't.
Do.
It.

Listen to the fucking theme song to your vain obsession and learn from it - 'ana wrecks your life.'

God bless America

'If God made man, they say,
Sam Colt made them equal.'

Take a bow

Yesterday we sat by the rivers of Babylon and drank drinks containing more artificial colourings than alcohol, we bought a canal boat, we adopted a cat (hi Midge, if you're reading this), made ourselves plastic raincaps from Iceland bags, saw an invisible boat, waved at numerous people and talked to midgets (sorry, people who are height impaired). Oh, and laughed the entire day.

I can't wait to get back to Wolverhampton on Wednesday. I can't wait to live there in general, the people up there are smashing.

Work soon so tally ho!

Jo and I have decided:

We're consistently inconsistent.

And that's what makes us losers.

And that's what makes us amazing.

Thanks life.

'Maybe there's a God above
but all I've ever learnt from love
is how to shoot somebody who ourtdrew you'