'I JUST LOST MY VIRGINITY IN A CONFESSIONAL BOOTH!'

'LORD. HAVE. MERCY!'

...There's nothing quite like Kiss to make everything in life feel fantastic.

'Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind.'

Busy, busy, busy. In the words of Bilbo - 'I feel like butter stretched across too much bread.' My trip to Wolves last weekend was awesome: wine, long chats, cheeky children, annnnddddd no Wolverhampton trip is complete without a naked Sarah in a changing room. Jo went to so much effort and bought my special moo-juice and everything. My friends rock. Also, while we were at one of the cattle markets clubs in the city centre, I managed to convince some guy that I'm a 24-year-old lesbian with four children. He left shortly afterwards. Which was the aim. The quote of the weekend of 24th July 2010 came from Jo - 'sometimes I wish I had a penis so I could randomly slap people round the face with it.'

This week I have mostly been giggling with fantastic friends and trying not to fall asleep on the bus. Though, I found out the other night that some guy I used to work with (I shan't mention any names..though I probably should) has told at least one person that we 'didn't have sex but we did other stuff'...which clearly is an hilarious lie. I like men with a little more substance and a little less pseudo-intellect and transparency, thank you. If he was somebody I'd look twice at, this wouldn't be such a ridiculous piece of news. It's a bit sad when you have to make things up like that.

I'd just like to say that: Yes, the Catalan government voting in a ban of bullfighting in that particluar region is a good thing, of course...but it's not the massive step that everyone thinks it is. Apparently it's never really been that popular there anyway.

Also, this week I have been re-discovering bands I frankly haven't thought about in years...Venom, Celtic Frost, Black Sabbath, Megadeth, Slayer. It's indescribable: that unique energy you feel that comes right from the very pit of your stomach when you hear the simple sound of guitars and drums galloping along together, creating pure magic. It awakens something primal inside you, something full of instinct and power, something that connects you with the very core of your human self. Music and sex - not so far removed from one another. Music is as essential to my existence as the breath in my lungs.

"I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs, and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music." - George Eliot

Enough words: here, have some metal. \m/

Doll Parts

So I can no longer walk around my area alone at times that suit me and my life. When they catch that rapist, I'm sending him my taxi receipts. He's costing me a lot of money.

In all seriousness though, it makes me fucking sick that I cannot walk freely around the area in which I live at a time I choose. I can, of course, but frankly it would be a stupid thing to do. I'd be putting myself in danger. And there's being brave and being foolish. And this is all because I was born with ladybits. I feel a bit like an animal backed into a corner. I'm angry. One of the rapes happened in the road next to the one I'll be working in. Great! ...

Today James and I are going to The Riverside Tavern. I haven't been there for years and it's great to go in there with someone who's gay. I feel a little less fraudulant!

'Are those symphonies forgotten with our cases closed and latched?'

Fuck off new Twilight movie. Just fuck off. And take Harry Potter with you please. That's right, you heard me: LEAVE THE HALL!

So, it looks like I'll be starting work within the next three/four weeks.  This is good news and a half and a quarter and another quarter. So basically, it's double good news. I can do maths, me.

This week Ma'anit played at the Billabong in Rochester, and Toby and James also had a jam. That's right 'a jam'. That's what all the kids are calling it these days. Lots of laughter and fun as always. Quotes of the night for Tuesday 13th July 2010:
'Hey, do you know who you look like?' - Hahaha! (oh, you had to be there...)
and my second favourite was when some guy stopped me on my way to the bar, pointed at me for what seemed like forever, squinted and then said: 'Katy Perry.' To which I replied, '...uh, no.' This is funny because I don't resemble her in the slightest.

I need to stop posting 'you had to be there' quotes. Maybe this quote of the day thing is not such a good idea in practice...But I do have a general quote of the moment, thanks to some random American voice - 'if he gave a shit about you, he'd be here right now.' Which generally relates to lots of things in lots of people's lives right now. And you know what? It's bloody true.

Then later in the week James and I went to visit Fluffy. We had a nice long night of chatting, giggling, and uh...shit porn. And by shit porn I do not mean actual shit porn. Oh, and romantic comedies *vomits*. Thanks for the varied movie jukeboxing Fluff! I think...

This just in! Click here for tips on how to be happy as a woman, courtesy of Disney.
And just so you boys don't feel left out: Click here for tips on how to get your perfect woman and be successful in life. Thank you, Liz :D

Brain. Switch. Off.

'I've got nostalgic pavements,

I've got familiar faces,

I've got mixed-up memories,

and I've got favourite places.'

'The rest of us are DJs or official club photographers'

Those of you who know me personally will be aware that I'm a total squeemish wreck of a wimp of a coward of a weakling when it comes to any sort of scary film. Soooooo, I've decided to challenge myself in this department. I've watched Cannibal Holocaust. That's right. I started with the soft stuff. I watched the uncut version. You know, the one including the scenes in which they cut the face off a monkey and kill a turtle TO DEATH! A choice film for a vegan, I'd say! It's good to watch something that disturbs you sometimes. That unsettles you deep down inside. It wakes you up a bit. There's too much comfort available in the Western world and sometimes we need to get down to our primal core of fear to feel alive in different ways. Extreme music films for extreme people! And then, as Rob Zombie is this week's musical favourite of mine, I decided to watch House of 1000 Corpses. Which I, to my complete surprise, thoroughly enjoyed. I probably didn't appreciate it on the same level as an avid watcher of horror movies would but I appreciated the sheer imagination and creativity that soaked through the whole film, down to the clever little details like Otis Driftwood's 'Burn this flag' t-shirt and Baby's awesomely chilling but playful laugh (kinda sexy, I won't lie).

Kickboxing was awesome. I'm going again this week. H'yah! Lots of people have asked me if I'm going for fitness or to train properly in ze arts but it's neither of those. I just like my life full of things. And people. And music.

Yeah, I'm a rubbish photographer.
My Ma'anit played at the Barge on Wednesday night. I think it's the best performance I've seen of hers so far. At the Barge, people aren't polite if you're shit - they just talk over you while you play but, as always, the moment Ms. Rosie started singing the whole room went silent. It's her voice: it's soulful, and when she hits her high notes it's glassy-clear and pure. Plus, she has the guts to play her own songs and they're melodic and catchy. Plus plus, she played my favourite song of hers and it was hard not to sing and sway along as I was recording! Plus plus plus (!), that night I got told I have perfect diction (lol, I love that word). Which is nice. I do speak the Queen's English after all, don't you know! Whatwhatwhat!
Quotes of the night for Wednesday 7th July 2010:
'I broke the Barge!' - Ma'anit (Yeah, you had to be there)
and (upon sitting through the most depressingly hillariously shit band I've possibly ever seen) 'It's music like this that makes me understand why people kill themselves' - Ma'anit.

'How could this backwards land learn to understand my dance?'

Imagine my surprise, when searching for some sort of program/sketch show/nonsense to fall asleep to the other night, to see an Anvil documentary featured on the BBC iplayer home page! So I watched it, naturally. And I'm still trying to decide whether it was some sort of Spinal Tap-inspired joke. I really hope it was...


Arthurian magic*? Really? This is just how I imagine the bible and Christianity to have begun. A rumour of a man nobody can even confirm existed (seriously, look properly into the history of King Arthur and you'll see what I mean), at least not on any important scale. A rumour that gets out of hand, people write lots of literature and stories about this man, and he becomes a sort of prophet figure. There'll be a bible part 2 soon, all about Arthur and Merlin.

 Kiss are wicked. That is all.

*Oh sorry, should that be 'magick' with a k? *rolls eyes*

'I am an interesting quote to sum-up the main subject of this particular blog entry'

I've had a relaxing week. I've had lots of spontaneous walks, went to Maidstone and watched some moo-sick, and last night stayed at Tom's. I walked home very early this-morning because he's going to France with his girly today - I'd forgotten how refreshing it is to have an early morning walk before breakfast.

Joanna is looking forward to randomly trying kickboxing on Thursday. Well...when someone approaches you in Hempstead Valley and offers you a free first lesson, do you turn it down? By heck, you don't! Refusing such invitations and opportunities makes you boring and way too comfortable in the bubble of your own little life. Don't let your sky shrink: if you do, you'll gradually see fewer and fewer stars...

Leo bit my mum. Ummers-bummers! You bit my mummers! Leo is our dog by the way. Not some guy we know.

Joanna, stop being silly and get on with your day, you actual stranger.

'Things in life aren’t always quite what they seem,
there’s more than one given angle to any one given scene.
So bare that in mind next time you try to intervene
on any one given angle
on any one given scene.'

Poetry written in the sky

Hera is not still with me for nothing. She came when you did. Except she didn't leave.

Why hasn't she left?

She brings with her such warm energies and gentle light. A sweetness.

She knows that without her I would still be happy and grounded...and yet she stays.