'The beast is loose in the streets of Bethlehem, the rats are in the corn'

For some reason somebody left a light bulb standing upright on the toilet cistern, and nobody in my house got the joke when I asked if the toilet had had a really good idea. :-(

Last week I did the joyously narcissistic thing of searching for songs with my name in them. I'm so vain, I probably think those songs are about me. Oh shut up, Joanna. So yeah, to be honest, hearing songs with my name in freaks me out a little bit (okay, almost to the point of mania in some cases - The one from Sweeney Todd, par example. Though I won't pretend the line 'I'll steal you' isn't a little bit...thrilling.*). I remember when I was a kid my parents bought me a personalised book with a story about me inside, and it freaked me out so much that I ripped it up in panic and disgust. Anyway, my search came to a definitive end once I got to a horrible song by a band called Watashi-Wa (described as 'Christian Pop Punk' – oh, is there anything worse?). I got so annoyed at the state of the human race and their feeble attempts to make music for the sake of it that I simply had to walk away from the whole enterprise.

On a different tone, so many people have died in the last two weeks. And so many of my friends are in pain or trouble. There's something bleak under the surface of this week's waters that I can't quite put my finger on. Not just for me and my peeps (Peeps? Really?), but for human beans in general. Hmm.

Also, as a side note, I have absolutely no patience for little boys with big egos. Don't think I haven't got my guard up. And don't think that I don't know exactly how to handle people like you. Ooh, cryptic!

As of Friday I shall be adventuring around the country. And it's about time: I've left it far too long this time. Any Place But Here - though I tend to feel like that if I'm anywhere for more than a couple of months. I need a job where I can travel the world. What a shame I'm so rubbish with languages!

Something to ponder on this week is a quote from Steven King's Pet Cemetery: 'the soil of a man's heart is stonier'. I tend to agree, but not in a bitter feminist way. It isn't necessarily a bad thing. Maybe it's more to do with having more solid ground to walk over in today's society. Or maybe it refers to men having a different kind of strength to that of women.

You don't get any pictures today because you've all been bad. BAD! Go to your rooms.

*I'd just like to point out that that doesn't mean I want to be kidnapped. So don't go getting any ideas.

'They'll tell you black is really white, the moon is just the sun at night, and when you walk in golden halls you get to keep the gold that falls'

Having been out of the house working almost solidly for the best part of two days, I've been trying to relax since I got home. And what has finally made me relax, you say? Well, I shall tell you. I sat at the piano and I played it. When I can't get to my beautiful piano for a few days, life seems different somehow...

It's a good job I can have music on when I'm doing things in the office at work, or I really would be the most depressed person you could ever meet. It really is like a drug. The best fucking drug in the world, man. A couple of hours without it and I'm hungry.

'Seek the core, the unique, the outstanding - shun the worthless and the mediocre.'

- Frost (from Satyricon and 1349)

'It's something I have to do, I was there too: before everything else, I was like you.'

'They tell us Rock'n'roll is the devil's music. Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know that it is, for sure … At least he fuckin' jams! If it's a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the Block … I'm gonna be surfin' on the lake of fire, rockin' out.' - Bill Hicks

Roll up, roll up! The time has come for another tedious list of things I've done over the last couple of weeks!

Joanna has:

...had too much to drink at work Christmas outings. My blue hair was the shizzle though.

...enjoyed time watching Ma'anit bake everyone Christmas goodies and drinking Bailey's coffee with Liat who came out with the quote of the day...nay, week...when she randomly started chuckling to herself and said 'Ma'anit, if you had your own chocolate factory, you'd be Willy Wanker!'

...officially broken two laptops in the space of six months. Luckily, my friend Zachary is a blinkin' genie-arse and is constantly operating on my poor computers. Thank-you Doctor ZacharyradiatorfaceCathedralpantsMcGinty the third Esquire! Yeah...if you don't know my friends and me then that will mean nothing to you. Still, a bit of mystery is good for the soul: don't say I never do anything for all you lovely readers our there!

...watched 'The Devil's Music'. What a bloody fantastic piece of work that was! Erica Spawn is such a compelling character, one couldn't help but become captivated with her and the story surrounding her. The documentary format may well have been done plenty of times but they made it work brilliantly. Some of the acting was a bit 'iffy' but the main actors had their parts down to an art and, just like all the classic films in the spooky genre (yes, that is now an official genre. Promise) there was an element of humour weaved into the entire thing. The film was sexy, atmospheric, and extremely watchable. I think one of the things I enjoyed most about it was that the characters were just like lots of real people I know. Very good, yes yes.

Phwoar!

...had well-needed family time. Time spent with my nephews and nephette is like water when my heart is running dry.

...been visited by the wonderful Jo and her crazy kids. We stayed in a hotel and bothered the receptionists with stupid questions and constant requests for more tea-bags and milk. Good times, as all the kids seem to be saying these days. You need your confidence back Jo, and I know you can do it. Those kids have a wild spirit like you do and that is no bad thing. I'm here with you every step of the way.

...started to hear the nickname Calamity even from people I work for now. I went to the house of someone I give support to (for those of you who are unaware, I'm a support worker for people with learning disabilities...but if you didn't already know that you're clearly not stalking me very well so far) the other day and, in the space of four and a half hours, managed to pull one of his curtains/blinds down, knock a picture off the wall, and I pulled a chair over with my bag on the way out. Doh! Also, while I was there, I cut my finger on a pair of safety scissors. I'm beginning to think it's me who needs support with my daily living...

Life is like the snow: the more of it there is, the harder it is to manage; the more that comes down on you, the harder it is to walk in and wade through. But, by the gods, it's beautiful.