'To know where you're going just look who you came from'

It's been really interesting researching the ol' family members from way back into the 16th and 17th Centuries. There's lots of stories about them but I won't bore you all. So, they weren't all Londoners after all. There's a really interesting mixture: Knights, footmen, Noblemen, Bakers, Barons, Actors, Earls, farmers, Generals, dress-makers and most importantly writers. An Irish playwrite at that! So a nice little collection there, each one of equal importance. Why is it so important? I know blood can't carry talent or charm but I like to pretend it holds some significance over my interests and limited smarts.

After lots of research into Ben's extremely rare condition, Caroline and I think Ben's Hemihypertrophy is probably Crossed Hemifacial Hyperplasia. After last night we know more about his condition than the specialists do which, in a way, is not encouraging. But it's okay because they're conducting the proper tests and everything regularly apart from the dentistry, which will be pushed for if I know my sister and bro'. I feel for Benathon. I don't feel for his mind now but I'm worried about when he gets older. We are very alike and I just pray that he doesn't develop the self-hatred I have. But I know that if he gains that mind-frame no amount of people telling him he's gorgeous (which he genuinely is, I'm not just saying that as a proud Auntie!) is going to make any difference. At least he'll have me there to understand that mind frame, I suppose, even if I can't relate directly to what the cause may be. There's something strange about a bond with children, ones you're close to. Sometimes I sit and feel the need to cry, or just burst because I love them so much. Whatever will I be like when/if I have my own?! To those children I will be loyal, honest and would crawl through broken glass for them. That's not even a conscious decision, it's just inside me. They are more important than myself. Perhaps it's something really primal in me, knowing they're there to carry on the family into the future, who knows?

I'll stop babbling now, awfully sorry guv', sometimes just can't 'elp miself!
BATH TIME!